A HOLI SHARING
Today is Holi, the Hindu religious festival of colors and I felt a sudden inspiration to narrate some of my ‘colorful’ experiences from the past. As in my Part 1 -3 blogs about Life with Mohanji, I speak as Mohanji’s disciple first and only then as his wife as well.
Indeed, many of you may not know this from the way he carries himself in the world. He is a deep introvert and a very elusive individual who would like to avoid all human company if given a choice. He could stay away from people for long, if that was anyhow possible. He is shy of limelight and actually blushes when people praise him. This was even more prominent at the time when I met him.
Another thing that I noticed was, he hardly opens up, until he is very familiar with his companion. He listens much more than he speaks and he finds his comfort inside his own deep ocean of silence. However, it would be difficult for you to believe that Mohanji is indeed an introvert had you met him while addressing the public in his commercial representations or during various spiritual gatherings. But, believe me, this is true.
Soon after I met Mohanji and felt a strong inner pull to get to know him better, one old woman looked me straight into the eyes, and said categorically with a tone of a soothsayer: “Know that you cannot own him. Nobody can own him. He belongs to the world.” With this clarity and understanding, I walked into his life and made it a point not to bind him in any way.
In the initial days when I started living with him, he continued to be a mystery to me. He was having profound insights, communions and various experiences beyond the comprehension of human mind. I remember one such experience.
When I walked into the room, Mohanji was sitting on the floor, his eyes fixated upwards, as if staring at some invisible object or space. He did not greet me. He looked frozen or like a person in a trance. When I came close to him, I felt tremendous heat, as if I am approaching a camp fire. He briefly uttered: “Do not come near me now.” By that time, I was quite confident that I can handle any kind of energy shifts because I am so familiar and close to him, plus had at least some training in Yoga and meditation. I replied: “I see you are in another dimension. Please give me a Shaktipat and elevate me as well”. He replied in a stern manner: “No. Do not come closer. You cannot handle this.” I was too confident, rather over-confident and told him. “Oh, come on. Of course I can. Try me.” He extended his right hand and instead of giving me a Shaktipat, he just mildly tapped my right shoulder. Before I knew what was happening, I fell face down on the bed and remained unconscious for almost 5 hours! When I got back to my senses, Mohanji was busy typing something. His body temperature was close to normalcy (as a matter of fact, his body temperature is always a bit high).
Needless to say, I was a total mess after hours of being ‘knocked off’, sleeping with my face pressed against the bed. As I was gathering my senses, out of curiosity, I peeped into what he was writing. He was describing his profound experience of being Shiva, when his consciousness exploded, engulfing the galaxies and the sacred ash Vibhuti flowed from the top of his head. However, after he finished writing about this experience, the document simply disappeared – it was neither in drafts, nor sent, nor trash items, it was nowhere! I understood later that all that he wrote then was removed by the Masters because of some higher reason, which later on Mohanji explained to me (He has narrated a part of it in his blog on Babaji).
In the initial days of my life with Mohanji, I could distinctly feel the mighty presence of Masters. And I could also see/sense the communion that he was having with them. There was a period when I used to practice Mahavatar Babaji’s Kriya early in the morning (4.30am) and sometimes, Mohanji would also join me. We were living in a one room apartment. And surprisingly, whenever I had any doubt, Mohanji would clarify them after discussing with the Masters telepathically and then it would all fall in place. As I started feeling the presence of Masters, I started feeling the difference in my energy level too. Once Mohanji kept his hand on my head, all fingers joined and I felt his hand entering deep into me through my head and spine. When he removed it, I felt deeply cleansed and knew that something heavy was removed from me.
The more I knew him, the more I realised that I do not know him… He enjoyed acting like a common person, like someone who is ignorant of even the basics of spirituality and at some other times, he would surprise everyone either by delivering profound experiences or sharing profound insights. Slowly, but steadily, I started understanding the man behind this illusion.
Mohanji belongs to the profound tradition of Dattatreya. All the saints of this tradition are unique. None like another. Lord Dattatreya himself is unique. He is the unity in trinity. He is the incarnation of Parabrahma, the Almighty. Mohanji often recommends people to chant “AumParabrahmaneNamaha” – “To know the unity, see Parabrahma in everything. He is the non-dual Truth.” As I started understanding the tradition that Mohanji represents, I realised how difficult this path is. It is both simple and tough. Simple because there are no rigid rules and practices. Tough because the duality always obscures the vision of unity. And Masters are all too unassuming and invisible. To realize or understand a Datta guru is very difficult. Only one who has his/her third eye active can see His glory. Look at the Datta Gurus whom we know. Powerful masters like SripadaSrivallabha Swami, NarasimhaSaraswati Swami, AkkalkotPrabhu, ManikPrabhu, ShirdiSai Baba, GajananMaharaj, Shankar Maharaj, to name a few. And Sathya Sai Baba – contested by many, because of his drastically different expression (those who judge are free to do so, but those who had their profound experiences know who he was…). None of them are not at all like each other. They are unique and distinct. They always confused people with their mannerisms and thus elevated them by their sheer presence. Tons of karma gets washed away by just being around a Datta master. Moreover, at times they behaved in a bizarre manner which confused people to believe that they are mad. I also realized that each Datta master lived a life of perfection, while being natural and transparent. Hindu-Muslim unity was essential in India in the early 1900s and the ShirdiSai avatar happened. It re-inforced the unity. Before ShirdiSai, Kabir Das – almost equal to ShirdiSai, expounded the same mission. Diversity is the expression of life, finding unity within that is the mission of human existence. I realized this through life of Mohanji.
All Datta gurus addressed their own contemporary community and situation, even though they were well beyond time and space. I realized this as I looked into the lives of the past Masters of the tradition. I have seen Mohanji working hard as a logistic professional in the gross commercial world and also as intensely active in the subtle spiritual world. I often thought why he has to take so much effort? When questioned, he always said: “Work is worship. Sitting idle amounts to Tamas. I am the fire of awareness in which Tamas cannot co-exist. I should lead by example. I will work as long as I can. Nobody should procrastinate, which equals to life wasted unconsciously or equal to death from existence”. I have seen the difficulty that he undergoes when he needs to reduce his “usual size” and bring himself to the level of his body to operate in the gross commercial world of various terrestrial dangers. I thought it would be much easier for him to operate only in one world, as he needed nothing from anyone. His goodness has been exploited by many and I have seen them going through troubled waters on that account. He maintains his silence and allows life to flow. He is active 24 hours, in some world or many worlds, as per the need and requirement. With his life, he is leading by example and expounding simple truths such as “work is worship…. do not under-estimate the value of noble work….sustain yourself through work and avoid dependency….defeat inertia by all means as inertia wastes lifetimes…..serve the helpless and needy….do not run away or escape from life as escapism amounts only to postponement…. have no fear as fear has no value in our tradition….faith and purity are the two pillars of the tradition….enjoy the existence and be grateful….” Thus, he is setting an example by his own life that all aspects of life are equally important, and we are a combination of everything. A son, a husband, an employee or employer or businessman, a spiritual person, a husband, a lover, everything. We cannot be only the one or the other. This is what he is telling the world. Be everything, but maintain equanimity. He leads by example.
Mohanji is always ready to help people whenever he finds someone who needs his help, irrespective of the person’s misbehavior with Mohanji in the past. Mohanji never kept any grudges. Whenever this question on why he does not feel angry with others’ insensitiveness towards him arose, he would smile and reply: “What have I got to do with earth and its human expressions?”
One of most striking traits of Mohanji’s that I noticed when I started living with him, was the changes that take place in his body. Sometimes, his body looks and feels like that of an old man. Sometimes, it looks and feels like that of a young man. His body is quite fluid and it changes from time to time. Mohanji explains these phenomena like this: “My body is fluid. As you go deeper and deeper in subtlety, your body will lose its grossness and as your dependency on earth and its elements lessen, body becomes much more fluid and subtle. When we become completely empty of karma, it is as fluid as your soul. It can assume the form and shape at will and necessity.” I have seen (and that has come in some pictures as well) how his body shifts within minutes, in front of our eyes. Also, I have sensed the fragrance of sandalwood, vibhuti (holy ash), flowers and even amrut (the nectar of immortality) emanating from his body depending on which dimension he performs from. We need keen observation to notice such changes. Many other people have experienced this when they were around Mohanji, as was evident from the mails, comments on Mohanji’s blogs and Facebook pages.
One day while we still lived in Dubai, I was driving the car with Mohanji on the co-driver’s seat. We were on our way towards the venue of the meditation. Mohanji was wearing his simple cotton kurta and dhoti, which he usually wears for his spiritual programs. Suddenly, without saying anything, he put his leg up on the dashboard above the glove compartment. I was amazed to see his feet much longer than usual and also a bit wrinkled. I was completely zapped and commented about his foot, while he just smiled. The whole meditation was different that day and everyone felt and saw ShirdiSai clearly.
One other great experience that I had soon after I met Mohanji comes to mind. Almost a month after I met Mohanji, I was planning to take two weeks off and visit my parents in Europe. It was close to the end of the year. Mohanji volunteered to drop me to the airport. Even though I told him that I would meet him before he goes to “sleep”, (around 10 PM) due to packing I arrived to his accommodation pretty late. Since I knew he would be sleeping, I entered his house without making any sound. Even though nothing really disturbs Mohanji when he decides to cut off from the world, I decided not to switch on any lights and tip toed into his room. I lit a tea candle, placed it on top of his Television and decided to get some sleep. My flight was in the early morning hours and I had to reach the airport by 3AM. I did not even realize when I dozed off, but was suddenly woken up by Mohanji and saw a big flame – the candle that I had lit caught the decorative element around it (I guess that AC caused the flame to catch it) and caught the Dhs500/- currency that was nearby as well. Before we knew it, the TV was on fire! Thick black smoke had enveloped the room. The candle already spilled on to the television and its plastic was melting. Since it’s an electric device, I was scared to pour any water on it and simply didn’t know what to do! Without saying anything, Mohanji started extinguishing the fire with his bare hands. I couldn’t believe my eyes. He did stop the fire but both his hands from elbow down (especially the palms) were burnt. The pieces of plastic of the TV had melted and stuck onto his palms. When I looked, it was still boiling on his hand. I was horrified and felt so bad that I put that candle on the TV.
He went to the toilet and put his hands under the tap water. There was some steam coming out of his hands. He came back to the room and asked me to apply some Vibhuti of Sai Baba. There was no shouting or screaming. There was perfect calm on his face and I was sure that it must have been hurting terribly. I applied the sacred ash on his palm and hands. It was almost time for me to go to the airport and I didn’t know what to do – call the taxi and leave him in such condition? I was shocked when Mohanji said that he will drive me to the airport. He insisted. Needless to say, it was difficult for him to drive. He literally drove the car with his elbows cause if palms would touch the steering wheel, pieces of skin would fall off. He dropped me and I felt so sorry to leave him in that situation. He assured me everything is alright and reminded me how lucky we are that the TV did not explode!
I reached my home country. And when I called him the next day, he told me that there is not even a sign of the burning on his skin anywhere. The sacred ash and the faith had done its job. When he woke up the next day, the skin on his palms and hands covered with Vibhuti was in normal state. And the TV, though burnt, was still working! How will I ever explain this miracle? I realized that the man I love is truly extraordinary. I wondered, The next task is, how do I live up to it all, if I continue to live with this man?
The next day was Jan 6th, Eastern Orthodox Christmas Eve and I went to a nearby monastery with my aunt who is quite evolved spiritually. She experienced several severe illnesses since she was a student and a near death experience as well. She prays intensely every evening before going to sleep and never misses any fast.
It was near midnight and the Christmass Mass was on. My feet and hands were freezing and I could not concentrate on prayers. I stood next to my aunt when she surprised me by exclaiming out of a blue: “Biba, I just saw Mohanji! I recognized him from the photo you showed me today. He kind of peeked, just to check if everything is alright, smiled to me and left. He wore a strange long shirt of maroon color.” I was completely zapped! Yes, that’s one of his favorite kurtas! I was confused. How could my aunt see Mohanji? She has never even met him. I called Mohanji up and asked, “Are you wearing your maroon kurta?” He said: “Yes, why?” I was overwhelmed! I knew this could not be a coincidence and also felt a bit embarrassed that my aunt saw him and I didn’t… But I was so happy for my aunt and explained excitedly about what happened. He laughed and said: “Oh, I came astrally just to make sure you are fine. By the way, your aunt is not ordinary. She has the power to see.” My heart expanded instantly and I was overwhelmed. Once again, I was learning another dimension of this seemingly ordinary man…